The King of the Void
by akinorev
Summary: Striving to be the king of the universe is not all it's cut out to be. Rated for disturbing scenarios and crude language.


The King of the Empty Void

I swirl the red liquid in the dark goblet between my pale fingers; its enticing, intoxicating aroma reaching my nose and tempting me to take a delicate sip. It is sweet with a hint of spicy, and the metallic undertone in its taste does nothing but heighten its flavor. Aah, yes, the blood of Angeo-jins, lovely, angelic beings they are, can rival the finest wines the universe has to offer. My black lips curl in delight as I think of the Angeo-jins hidden away from prying eyes in my basement. It's such a shame, really, that their meager 2 feet frame could not satisfy my appetite for their blood...

"Zarbon, are the monkeys back from their most recent purge in Vrag IV?"

My general, Zarbon, genuflects before me before answering, "Yes, my lord. The Saiyan ship has docked yesterday at approximately 1100 hours before sunrise."

A month in Vrag? I must say I am impressed. The Vrags are devil creatures themselves. Imbecilic, mindless, ruthless and blood-thirsty animals, they would have been a very powerful ally had they not thought to deceive me in one of our dealings. I would have gone there to punish them myself: to extract their king's still beating heart and feast on it as he hangs by the pinnacle of their heathen temple watching the destruction of his kingdom. My, what a glorious sight it would have been.

But, alas, I have to send the Saiyans to Vrag, not only to punish the latter but to punish those filthy monkeys too. Their most abominable monkey prince, Vegeta, has repeatedly tried my patience and his arrogance, dare I say, rivals even mine. He refuses to bow before me and has the audacity to ignore my orders, me who has taken them in after an 'asteroid' hit their planet. The truth is, it is I who has destroyed their planet, but the ignorant monkeys need not know that nor do they need to know why. They are all filthy monkeys anyway. Soon, stupid monkey prince, you shall bow and tremble before my greatness, even if it is the last thing I do.

"Very well, send them to Angeo XXI as soon as possible, Zarbon, my wine supply is rapidly dwindling and stale Angeo blood is just unappealing to my taste" I say as I continue sipping from my goblet.

"Mm-my lord…the Angeos…them…th-their species are nearing extinction…"

My usually calm and collected general is stuttering, how interesting. "And I care because? Zarbon, are you trying to override my decision?"

"N-no, my lo-lord. Forgive me for speaking out of my foolishness. It shall never happen again" the blubbering fool simpers, kneels low before me and kisses my feet. He is afraid of me, how lovely. If I tell my men to jump to their death, they will ask how high. If I ask them to kill their own family, they shall do it with no hesitation. My obedient minions. And Zarbon is the biggest ass-kisser of them all. Ahh, the things he can do with his lovely mouth…

I throw my half-empty glass at his prized, beautiful face and he flinches. "It better not, pet. I would hate to mar that lovely face. Now get out of my sight and get me some more Angeo blood, my glass is empty. And don't you dare spill a precious drop."

"Yes, my lord" he gulps and scrambles off as Dodoria enters the room.

"My lord, your brother is here as you requested. Shall I send him up?" my commander asks.

I eye his pudgy, horned face and curl my lips in disgust, his fish stench filling the room. "Dodoria. You look repulsive as always. When was the last time you have taken a bath? Oh, never mind answering. Your disgusting countenance has its merit, I suppose. Men would die in battle with you from simply breathing your repulsive stench. Send up my dearest brother here, we have business matters to discuss"

I fiddle with the dials on my hover chair, and the walls in my throne room dissolve, only to be replaced with the vastness of the universe, randomly zooming in at random places. My throne room is flooded with the light of billions of stars, galaxies and nebulas. I notice a star being born near Quadrant 2, while a meteor shower is visible from Neutrinos. The poisonous gases in a tiny, red planet is slowly clearing up and being replaced by the bluish hue of nitrogen, a sure sign of the start of life. A few more centuries and that planet shall be teeming with life, after discovering the benefits of fire, the starting point of a civilization. The Snafu-jins are launching their first spaceship to outer space. Hn, how cute.

The universe is such a bright place…

"My lord" Dodoria has returned with my dearest brother, Cooler, in tow, and I hide my grimace at having to face my only sibling again. My idiot of a brother, over the last millennium of his miserable existence, has done nothing but drag the name of the Ice clan in shame. He is a coward with neither fighting prowess nor strength, a braggart with neither the wit nor money to back him up. All his life, he has lived in luxury in our father's palace, spending extravagantly, yet doing nothing to earn his keep.

But our father loved him more. I, whose very name made the galaxies tremble in fear, who have conquered the universe in the name of the Ice Clan, have to beg for even a smidgen of our father's affection. I strived to be the best, the strongest Ice-jin to ever live, but my victories are all in vain. My father only had eyes for Cooler. And that shall end today.

I turn around and have to hide my contempt for the flashy, bejeweled armor he is wearing. "Ah, dearest brother, you are looking rather, ummm, fetching today"

"I do, don't I? Father had it custom-made for me. Only the best for his son, he said. Anyway, what do you want, Freeza? You know I have better things to do than make small talk with the likes of you. Or rather, women to do. You do know what to do with women, don't you?"

The idiot says this with such a smug smile on his face that I clench my fists so hard that they bleed. I say nothing and the idiot continues on.

"Of course, I jest. You wouldn't know the first thing about them. I heard from father that you prefer men over women and that your crew is filled with pretty boys to satisfy you. Like that, eh Za…Zar…Zarmie…oh, Zarbon! That Zarbon is your bitch, isn't he? Well, he's pretty and strong too; he can probably take anything up his ass. Or maybe you're the bitch! Hey Freeza, what does it feel like to take it up your a… "

I. Cannot. Take. This. Shit. Anymore.

Faster than Cooler's eyes can follow, my tail whips around him, slicing him in half. His eyes are widened in disbelief as his lower half falls to the ground, his torso following soon after with a sickening squelch. "Freeza" he whispers.

I take out a tablet, grab his hand and hand and press it on the tablet. "Wh-what are you doing? Father, father will hear about this, I swear! He will severly punish you! Bring me to the regeneration tank now or I swear, Father shall…"

"Father this, father that. Is that all you can do, Cooler? Rat me out to father? My, you are more of a coward than I thought. I tried to be nice, brother, I really did, but you had to be impossible so I am only doing what had to be done. As for father, you can meet him in hell."

With that, I step away from him, his eyes as wide as saucers, and blast him until nothing of his upper half remains. I sit back on my hover chair and look at the tablet in my hand. Cooler's handprint shall be enough verification of my ownership of his part of the universe and soon enough, I shall hold the entire universe in the palm of my hand.

Zarbon enters with my goblet in his hand. Ah, freshly-squeezed Angeo-jin wine. I take it from him. "Took you long enough", I say.

"Extracting it…is not very pleasant" he says with a grimace on his face.

"Oh? Very well, have that mess my brother made on the floor cleaned up and get lost…oh, on second thought, get cleaned up too and meet me in my quarters in half an hour" I say, as I remember Cooler's words earlier. I am nobody's bitch, especially not Zarbon's.

He mumbles a "Yes, my lord" and leaves.

The room threatens to blind me with its brightness, so I fiddle with the dials on my hover chair once more. The different views of the universe zoom out, until nothing but inky blackness remains, the stars mere pinpoints of light.

I take a sip from my goblet, and smile. Somewhere in the universe, a star is being born; it shall be another star to possess, another solar system to purge and sell to the highest bidder. The universe is nothing but an empty, black void, and I shall be its king…

A/N: inspired by the 'astronaut' song by simple plan. being the king of the universe must be a pretty lonely life :(


End file.
